Shaking it in a new town: If you can’t join ’em, beat ’em!

I got an email recently from one of my students who moved back to the Midwest to be close to her family:

Hello from the Middle Coast! I need your advice: the burlesque groups in town, as it turns out, are a wee bit pretentious and won’t let me in their clubs. I want to keep dancing (the ideas are piling up) but just don’t know what to do at this point. I have a very good friend who said that I can dance with his band or do guerrilla performances at his shows but how do I get started?? What to do with that fear factor?! I miss you guys!!!!!! And the giggles!! And the pasties! And all of the skin that one normally doesn’t see in most hobbies and professions!!

This is not the first time I have had students who moved away ask me how to handle getting started all over again in a less-than-welcoming environment after leaving our cozy San Francisco scene. My advice is to swallow your nervousness and just jump out there and start performing on your own. “If you can’t join ’em, beat ’em!” or something like that. Don’t let anyone else keep you from doing what you love to do. Call your friends and get yourself some gigs! Some non-burlesque-show gig ideas include: opening for bands, performing at art openings, or grab your boom box and take it to the streets for some street performance (G-rated acts only, of course). Use your imagination and don’t let a performance opportunity pass you by! Every event is better with burlesque – at least in my humble opinion.

If you are afraid of going it on your own, don’t be. I would be very surprised if you are the first person who has approached these troupes and been snubbed, so you may be surprised by the number of people who come up to you at your performances and ask you how to get started. Make friends! Start working with those ladies and you’re well on your way to creating a movement! Soon you’ll have all the giggles and pasties and skin that you can handle. You can be a mover and shaker (hehe) in your new town and start your own little scene.

For more advice on dealing with the fear factor, read my previous post on stage fright. Going it alone can be scary, and performing at events that are not specifically burlesque shows can be a totally different vibe, but like I said, I don’t think you’ll be doing it alone for long. So if you can get through the first few shows, the momentum will take you from there.

Since you will no longer be relying on the name and reputation of your troupe to get you gigs and bring people in to see your performances, it is very important that you work on building up your name as a solo act. Here are some basics you will need to think of, and I will go into more detail about developing your name and promoting yourself in future posts, so keep your eyes peeled…

Big things to do when you’re building a name for yourself:

• Get a website up! Myspace is great for meeting people and promoting yourself, but people will be much more likely to find you and you will look much more professional if you have a real website.
• Design and have business cards printed. Give your cards to everyone you meet (when appropriate, of course). If you don’t know where to go for cards, ask me and I’ll refer you to my printer.
• When performing at your friends’ events, have them list your name on the flyer and distribute these liberally. If no one else is making a flyer for an event, make your own and distribute them!
• Create a mailing list. Pass out a clip board with your sign up sheet at every event, or set it out somewhere conspicuous and make sure people know about it.
• Be friendly to everyone, even the people who snubbed you. You never know, they might loosen up once they see that you are serious and are making things happen for yourself.

If you’re still feeling nervous, put on your favorite version of “My Way”, whether it’s Frank Sinatra or Sid Vicious, get dolled up and sparklized, and then practice that new number you’ve been working on that you can’t wait to perform. All dressed up and nowhere to go? That will get you motivated to get out there and shake it for a crowd, no matter what it takes! So call your friends and make it happen!

I will leave you with the lyrics for “My Way” 

( by: P. Anka, J. Revaux, G. Thibault, C. Frankois):

And now, the end is here
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full
I traveled each and ev’ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
“Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way”

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!

[instrumental]

Yes, it was my way

 

 

Bellydance/Burlesque fusion?

I haven’t written here in a few days, but I have been busy writing!  One of my students, who is a bellydancer, asked me to give my perspective about bellydance/burlesque fusion for a lively debate that has been taking place at The Guilded Serpent, a bellydance zine.  The gist of the argument is that one person in the bellydance scene, Miles Copeland, attacked Princess Farhana for producing a show that was advertised as offering burlesque and bellydance performances, blaming burlesque for giving or supporting a bad reputation for bellydance, and even going so far as to say that the association of burlesque with bellydance would affect the rights and respect that women have in the countries where bellydance originated.

Here is my response to the article and the letters to the editor:

4-18-08 re: Divorcing Bellydance from Burlesque by Miles & When the Hip Hits the Fan by Princess Farhana
This is a very interesting conversation. There was recently one very similar to this in one of the burlesque message boards I belong to, only it was talking about the association that burlesque has in the eyes of the public with strip-club strippers, i.e. poledancers. I wrote about this in my blog here: https://bombshellbetty.wordpress.com/2008/03/08/stripping-vs-burlesque/ In the burlesque movement, we are seeing some fusion between burlesque and poledancing (for example, the duo called Gravity Plays Favorites). Some people like this, and some don’t. I consider it to be the inevitable result of a creative and innovative movement. Everyone adds their own style and flavor to the mix, which then inspires more people to add their own styles and flavor, which then inspires more people…

The burlesque “bump-and-grind” dancing in the 50’s was taken directly from bellydance moves. You can call this cultural appropriation if you wish. I call it human nature and an inevitable part of growth and creation. As creative humans, we see something we like and wish to emulate it, and then we add our own creative influence to what we are doing and soon enough a new style or even artform is born. This happens in music, in visual art, in dance, in architecture, in literature… you name it. Burlesque as it is known in America (and as it is spreading internationally) is an American cultural tradition that drew from European theatrical traditions and later developed into striptease (often comedic) with bellydance inspired moves and costuming themes.

It is pointless for traditionalists to bemoan the changes and new interpretations that people create in these art forms. Everything changes. People will always innovate. All I can recommend is that traditionalists stick with the style they enjoy, the innovators stick with what they enjoy, and everyone just worry about your own act, your own reputation, your own success, and leave everyone else to their own business. Or you can bang your head against the wall, but I promise you that won’t change anything anyone else is doing, although it might give you a headache. And dismissing someone else’s success by calling them “sleazy” while excusing your lack of success by blaming it on them is just a cop-out. If you want to be hired (to perform or to teach), work on your skills and presentation and stop worrying about what other people are doing. If you stand out, you will be successful. If you don’t, you probably won’t.

To the people who are afraid that “bellydancer = callgirl” in the eyes of the public, keep in mind that the people who would look up a bellydancer in the phone book and harrass her are the kind of people who automatically think “woman = whore.” Disassociating burlesque from bellydance won’t iradicate that kind of ignorance and sexism. Any employer who would fire a person for practicing or performing burlesque in their off time deserves to be slapped with a law suit.

And anyone who claims that associating burlesque with bellydance is undermining their efforts to “legitimize” bellydancers in the countries the art came from is just fooling themselves. The dance forms will be respected in those areas when women are respected in those areas, and not until then.

Public dancing and performance in general has only recently been seen as a respectable activity for women in our culture, and there are many places in the world where it is still seen as indecent. For hundreds of years in Europe and America, “actress” or “opera dancer” or “chorus girl” were synonymous with “prostitute.” The bias against women showing their independence and flouting cultural strictures is not new to striptease, and cultural ideas of what is “vulgar” or “tasteless” or “indecent” change from generation to generation. Expecting the norms of yesteryear to apply today is not only unrealistic, but it would also paint even the most “traditional” and “respectable” of dance forms with unflattering associations.

Blaming burlesque for dance’s “sleazy” associations isn’t going to fix any of these problems, because burlesque is not the problem, just as pole dancing isn’t the reason burlesque has a bad rap. The problem is that so much of the American (and hello… Middle Eastern… or even the world’s?) population is afraid of stong, earthy female sexuality and artforms that express it. Fix that problem and the rest will go away. Until then, you’re just putting fresh frosting on a stale cake.

Home again, home again…

Just flew back from NYC today after a (mostly) wonderful weekend!  We ran our first out-of-town Pinup Workshop, and it went really well!  We had so much fun, we are going to offer another one in NYC in June, hopefully coinciding with the Coney Island Mermaid Parade so that we can go to that as well.  I have decided to buy a pocket-sized camera to take on the road with me, since all I have right now is my big Canon that I use for the pinup shoots.  I wish I had photos from the trip to post here! And I say it was a (mostly) wonderful weekend because we were out of it with food poisoning for a day. Luckily I recovered in time to perform on Friday and teach on Saturday!

I performed in my first “real” NYC burlesque show at the Slipper Room on Friday night.  It was a blast, and the people were wonderful – the audience, the management and the other performers were all super sweet.  I say this is my first “real” show in NY because on my first trip for New Year’s Eve last year I performed at a party, but since almost all of the other performers were from San Francisco, I don’t think that counts as a NY show.  It was also kind of strange, because I didn’t know any of the other performers, even though they were from my town.  The scene here really is getting bigger and bigger.

The show was much edgier than most San Francisco shows.  There was a lot more nudity, and it was a lot more modern.  I didn’t see any acts that I would say were in the “classic burlesque” style like you see a lot of here and at the big burlesque shows (Tease-o-rama, Exotic World, etc.).  I loved it.  I felt right at home performing my cornball “Pastie Tricks” routine, which is my new favorite act.  Julie Atlas Muz was MCing the first part of the show, and when I got off stage she said something about my act proving that San Francisco burlesque could be funny.  I don’t remember exactly what she said, but I take it as a compliment.

Anyway, I spent the morning and afternoon on a plane and then taught a Burlesquercise class this evening, so I’m gonna get off of this computer now and get some rest.

More on body love/hate

After writing this post, everyone in my life seems to be talking about body issues! A recent thread in a burlesque list hashed out some controversy about whether the burlesque scene is body-positive and what that means. Friends and family have come to me expressing unhappiness with their bodies. I have personally been dealing with the fact that I have gained 20-30 pounds in the last year and a half (mostly I’m fine with it, it’s just frustrating when my favorite clothes no longer fit over my ass). An email conversation with Violet Blue, the witty and lovely sex educator, author and sex columnist for the SF Chronicle, resulted in quotes in her column and a mention on her blog.

All of this discussion has inspired me to go a bit deeper on this issue that affects all of us to one degree or another. To start off, this is the full rant that I sent to Violet Blue, which she quoted from in her column:

What I have always noticed in my own life and when I am watching other people is that “when you feel sexy, you are sexy.” Period. The end. There are people out there who are attracted to every body type, age group, coloring combination, clothing style, you name it. What makes one person stand out more than another are confidence and vivacity, both of which come out when someone is really feeling sexy.

I have shared dressing rooms with thousands of ravishingly beautiful women over the last 12 years, and the one thing they all have in common is… none of them think they are beautiful enough! Our society teaches women to pick themselves to pieces, analyzing each and every feature individually and keeping a list in our minds of each and every perceived fault. No one comes out of this scenario feeling good, and when women are in this mind set, nothing you can say will change the way they feel about themselves. Believe me, I’ve tried. (Have you noticed that most women will argue with you when you give them a compliment rather than just saying “thank you”?)

On the other hand, men tend to be seen in more of a gestalt fashion: people look at the whole package – including personality! – and evaluate the sexiness and attractiveness of the person as a whole rather than analyzing the perfection or imperfection of each feature. This is a much easier standard, and I find that the women who are most confident tend to see themselves in this way as well.

I don’t think people learn through words, they learn through experience. With this in mind, what I strive to create in my classes (and what many burlesque shows create) is a totally new environment where women of all shapes and sizes and ages and complexions get encouragement and support from each other rather than competitiveness and criticism. Often for the first time in their lives, they are allowed to explore their sexuality and enjoy their bodies in a safe and non-threatening way.

As new people come into the group and experience how the group encourages others who do not represent our society’s unattainable ideal of what is beautiful, they see how sexy these other “imperfect” women are when they are letting go and feeling sexy, and it allows them to stop judging themselves so harshly. Soon enough, they start stretching themselves, coming out of their shells more and more, and the encouragement and support they get from the group allows them to let go of even more of this unneccessary shame and self-judgement. This is really powerful and transformational, and I have seen it start huge snowball effects of positive change in people’s lives.

I think the best thing people can do to start feeling good about themselves is to get rid of the critics! Turn off the TV when it’s talking about some celebrity’s weight issues! Stop listening to your mother or your friend or your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse when they make comments about your weight. Hang out with people who think you’re hot! Find them. They’re out there!

As I mentioned in my previous post on this subject and in the quote above, these body image issues are pervasive. It is not only heavier women who feel insecure or downright ashamed of their bodies. Women of all ages, sizes and shapes feel this way, and many men have body insecurities, too; they just don’t usually talk about them as much, I think. I have asked some of my students (women of every body type and various ages) to give me their thoughts and experiences on how learning and performing burlesque has affected their body image, and with their permission I will be posting some of them here soon. The responses to my questions made me want to cry in a really, really good way. Such beautiful women!

I was surprised a few days ago when someone posted this comment on my post about Lindsay Lohan’s ode to Marilyn’s last photos:

I do agree that it’s exciting to see the pin-up aesthetic coming into the mainstream media … However, these photos of Lindsay Lohan are ATROCIOUS! Why on God’s Green Earth would these ever be published! Lindsay’s figure is emaciated and she looks like she’s about to kick the bucket! She took a gorgeous icon’s last photo shoot and turned it into squirrel droppings. I hope that the mainstream media can use the pin-up aesthetic … but, I certainly hope that they don’t keep bastardizing it like they did with this photo shoot!

I find this whole attitude offensive! If we are going to escape the limitations and shame placed on us by our society’s pressure to fit into one ideal body type, we’re going to have to stop hating people of any body type, not just ones that look like ourselves. Hating people because they resemble our current cultural ideal is only going to keep spreading body hate and unreasonable pressure. You can’t create freedom for “fatties” by hating the “skinnies.” Thin people are under just as much scrutiny and criticism as everyone else. Personally, I don’t see the difference between automatically hating someone because they are “too thin” or “too fat” and hating someone because they are of a different race or gender or sexual orientation. It is all judging someone because of what they are physically rather than who they are as a human being.

I came across Kate Harding’s “Shapely Prose” blog a couple of days ago, and I love it! Here are the “ten principles that underlie pretty much everything” she writes in the blog (taken from here):

1. Weight itself is not a health problem, except in the most extreme cases (i.e., being underweight or so fat you’re immobilized). In fact, fat people live longer than thin people and are more likely to survive cardiac events, and some studies have shown that fat can protect against “infections, cancer, lung disease, heart disease, osteoporosis, anemia, high blood pressure, rheumatoid arthritis and type 2 diabetes.” Yeah, you read that right: even the goddamned diabetes. Now, I’m not saying we should all go out and get fat for our health (which we wouldn’t be able to do anyway, because no one knows how to make a naturally thin person fat any more than they know how to make a naturally fat person thin; see point 4), but I’m definitely saying obesity research is turning up surprising information all the time — much of which goes ignored by the media — and people who give a damn about critical thinking would be foolish to accept the party line on fat. Just because you’ve heard over and over and over that fat! kills! doesn’t mean it’s true. It just means that people in this culture really love saying it.

2. Poor nutrition and a sedentary lifestyle do cause health problems, in people of all sizes. This is why it’s so fucking crucial to separate the concept of “obesity” from “eating crap and not exercising.” The two are simply not synonymous — not even close — and it’s not only incredibly offensive but dangerous for thin people to keep pretending that they are. There are thin people who eat crap and don’t exercise — and are thus putting their health at risk — and there are fat people who treat their bodies very well but remain fat. Really truly.

3. What’s more, those groups do not represent anomalies; no one has proven that fat people generally eat more or exercise less than thin people. Period. And believe me, they’ve tried. (Gina Kolata’s new book, Rethinking Thin, is an outstanding source for more on that point.)

4. Diets don’t work. No, really, not even if you don’t call them diets. If you want to tell me about how YOUR diet totally worked, do me a favor and wait until you’ve kept all the weight off for five years. Not one year, not four years, five years. And if you’ve kept it off for that long, congratulations. You’re literally a freak of nature.

5. Given that diets don’t work in the long-term for the vast, vast majority of people, even if obesity in and of itself were a health crisis, how the fuck would you propose we solve it?

6. Most fat people have already dieted repeatedly. And sadly, it’s likely that the dieting will cause them more health problems than the fat.

7. Human beings deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Fat people are human beings.

8. Even fat people who are unhealthy still deserve dignity and respect. Still human beings. See how that works?

9. In any case, shaming teh fatties for being “unhealthy” doesn’t fucking help. If shame made people thin, there wouldn’t be a fat person in this country, trust me. I wish I could remember who said this, ’cause it’s one of my favorite quotes of all time: “You cannot hate people for their own good.”

10. If you scratch an article on the obesity! crisis! you will almost always find a press release from a company that’s developing a weight loss drug — or from a “research group” that’s funded by such companies.

I really love that bit that she says, “You can’t hate people for their own good.” I wish I knew who said that originally, too. She has links to resources supporting her statements on her website, so check it out.