Incubating dreams…

I have a lot of “someday” dreams. I’m sure you have some, too. They’re not “bucket list” type dreams – something to do once and scratch it off the list forever. They’re “someday, I want this to be part of my life” dreams. Otherwise known as long-term goals if we lived in a perfect world where you’re on the right track and everything is magically flowing in the right directions.

In the last week, the Universe has given me clear indications that two of these Someday Dreams are on their way to becoming reality. Not through persistent, dogged effort (though I’m working on those kinds of dreams/goals, too). Just by saying to myself and the Universe, “Yes, I’d really like that.” And then, like magic, I’m getting resources and opportunities handed to me by friends and business contacts whom, by the way, I had never told about these dreams.

Whether it’s the Universe tossing these things in my direction in response to my desire or I’m simply noticing opportunities because I’m looking for them, that doesn’t matter to me. What matters to me is that I’m incubating these dreams, and they’re getting closer and closer to becoming reality.

So what are your Someday Dreams? You don’t have to share them, of course. Sometimes they’re too fragile at this stage. But it sure is fun to think and dream about, isn’t it?


Filed under Personal

Standards Shmandards: Who gets to say what’s “bad” burlesque, anyway?

Lately, I have read rants, threads and articles (here’s one) written by performers and non-performers alike decrying the fact that not all burlesque is created with the same standards. “Bad burlesque is bringing down the whole scene,” they cry. “We need to create standards for who can perform burlesque and what they can do!”

Aside from the logistical impossibility of enforcing any kind of arbitrary standards, could the burlesque scene at large really agree on one set of standards to follow? And, more importantly, should it?

Gratuitous photo to break up all this serious text! Bombshell Betty and the Burlesqueteers in the Hubba Hubba Revue at the DNA Lounge in San Francisco.

A few articles have come out very recently bemoaning the preponderance of the “shittest” burlesque and boring or mediocre burlesque, advising people to “do it well or don’t do it at all.” What these authors don’t acknowledge is that when they rant about  “good burlesque” and “bad burlesque,” what they’re really talking about is “burlesque I like” and “burlesque I don’t like.” How  arrogant and unrealistic for these authors to think that the whole world of burlesque should be standardized according to their tastes! “You can put on as many sparkles and Swarovskis as you like, but if you don’t know how to move or be sexy then I’m afraid you’ll just bore me.” [Emphasis is mine.] So you’re bored, so what? Maybe the person standing next to you is enthralled. It’s not about you. Go get a drink or powder your nose and wait three minutes for the next act and try to find some perspective.

I know that there is burlesque I like to watch and burlesque I don’t like to watch. There is burlesque I like to perform and burlesque I don’t like to perform. I also know that my personal standards have nothing to do with the preferences of other performers or of audiences in general. Everyone has their own criteria for judging an act or a show, and I think that’s important to keep in mind.

This article makes a very interesting and valid point that part of the appeal of burlesque for some of the audience is its aspirational quality. Audience members can watch the performers and envision themselves doing similar acts on stage, so it is inspiring and empowering for the audience members who are not used to thinking that they could be sexy. A number of my students have told me that they decided to take classes and perform burlesque because they went to a show and one of the performers had the exact same body type – and she was so sexy! And the audience loved her! So my student thought, “If she can do it, I can do it,” and she did!

Scarlett Black at the Elbo Room in SF

So while the aspirational element is there, I disagree that audience members will make the effort to get dolled up and pay a cover to go to a show because they want to see “mediocre” performances so that they can feel smarter or more talented than the people on stage. Who would want to waste their time and money like that? Burlesque audiences – like any audiences – go to shows to be entertained. What these articles neglect is that the preferences of burlesque audiences are as varied as the performances offered.

For example, I produce student shows, and they are promoted as such. Some people don’t go to them for that reason. Others say that these student shows are their favorite burlesque shows and only go to my shows, because they love the playfully creative and experimental acts and the atmosphere of joy and fun they know they’ll find at my shows more than they enjoy the level of polish they’ll find at some other more highly-produced shows. Other people are looking for something else entirely and go to other shows, or like a wide variety and go to all the shows, or don’t go to burlesque shows at all.

Lezzie McFaggerson and Vadge O’Fonor with ostriches at the Elbo Room in SF!

As a performer, I have personally been called a genius and been told that I “give burlesque a bad name.” I think I’m rather somewhere in between those two extremes, but this is another good demonstration of how much of burlesque is in the eye of the beholder.

The fact that there are a wide variety of shows and styles is good for the burlesque community, and it’s one of my favorite things about burlesque. It’s fascinating to see each performer’s interpretations of the art form, and I know that I (as well as much of my audience) would be bored to tears and simply drop burlesque altogether if it became homogenized and predictable, as would be the case with enforced standards.

I was thrilled to read this article about Trixie Little, a New York based performer whose style I personally admire (I’m partial to performers who combine glamour and polish with quirky humor and surprise). Here’s my favorite part:

I am continuously working on a handful of ‘NYC gig acts’ that fit on tiny stages, don’t take up a lot of space and are mostly improv. These are the acts I typically chose from when I’m ready to take an act up to the next level. When they are ready  for the polishing stage, the first thing I do is take my starter costume to Garo Sparo to remake professionally. Then I start setting the choreography and moments so it’s not improv any more.  But the improv part is an awesome part of my process because I’m a character actor more than a dancer, so I get to learn what the juicy moments are this way.

It was a relief to finally read some acknowledgement that different venues and productions require different levels of polish. Of course you wouldn’t perform the same act in the same way at your local dive bar and at an international burlesque convention! This seems so elementary to me, but this is the first time I’ve seen this acknowledged publicly within the burlesque scene.

And guess what? None of this is earth-shattering news! Think of any art form, and there are artists you like and artists you don’t. Some people like art house movies. Others think they’re pretentious and lame and prefer Hollywood blockbusters. Should there be standards that make only one of these film styles possible? No! There’s a market for each of them. How is burlesque any different? Why do people seem to be so personally offended by the existence of burlesque that they don’t like?

Here’s another perspective from Mat Ricardo:

And you know what? I’ve seen this happen before. A long time ago, when my circuit wasn’t cabaret clubs, but was street theatre. There was a time when the established performers felt a little threatened by the influx of new performers. In response, some rules were discussed that would favour the old guard – make it easier for them to get better show times, stuff like that. The rationale was that because the younger performers didn’t have such good shows, they shouldn’t get the lucrative lunchtime slots. It was ugly, transparent and nasty. And you know what happened? The young performers went elsewhere and spread the word that the Covent Garden performers were cliquey, unwelcoming bullies. And they were right. The scene stagnated and the level of quality of the shows dropped. It harmed everyone.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I think it’s commendable and wonderful that so many performers are taking burlesque out of the low-brow dive bar and bringing it into the realm of high art. I love that. Burlesque is about exaggerations and extremes, so it is fitting that both extremes are represented. There is room for Dita Von Teese and her high level of visual spectacle, and there is room for DIY burlesque at the local dive bar. As long as there is an audience that wants to see it, there is room in burlesque for every interpretation and permutation.

And I love that, don’t you?

So what can you do if you see a lot of what you consider to be “bad” burlesque, and you’d like to help raise the bar for burlesque in your area?

The answer is not (as has been suggested) for more experienced and highly trained performers to go out of their way to critique the “inferior” performers. Constructive criticism that has not been requested is not going to be heard the way you want it to be heard. It’s not going to make performers whose style you don’t like suddenly decide they want to be more like you. It’s just going to make you look bitchy.

Now, criticism that is requested is another story altogether, but it’s still important that you deliver it properly if you want it to be heard. Red Velvet wrote a great article on how to give good feedback, which I recommend reading. My two main tips for giving feedback are:

1) Make sure the target of your feedback has requested your feedback.
2) Learn how to give a feedback sandwich.

Red Velvet and Lezzie McFaggerson at the Elbo Room in SF.

If you are serious about wanting to raise the bar for burlesque in your area, and not just wanting to verbally slap your unworthy competitors for daring to perform (even though you think they suck) and daring to be successful (perhaps even more successful than you? How dare!?!),  one good way to set up a situation that will make this kind of feedback welcome would be to organize and participate in peer review workshops in your area.

Not willing to expend this kind of energy to help your competitors? Then it doesn’t seem to me that you’re really interested in helping the burlesque community in general, and you’re really only concerned with promoting your own interests. Which is fine, just acknowledge it and stop pretending to be altruistic when you verbally slam the newbies (or whoever it is you don’t like).

Here’s a reality check: No one is going to stop performing because you don’t like them. So why not help them improve and make the scene better for everyone rather than complaining and wishing people would wither in the face of your scorn and blow away? Because I guarantee you they won’t.

If you don’t want to be associated with the “bad” or “mediocre” burlesque at your local bar, it’s up to you to differentiate your act or your show. It’s not up to the burlesquers you don’t like to tell their audience that you’re somehow superior. Their audience might not agree. It’s up to you to show your audience that they should want to get up off of their couches and spend their time and money to indulge in an evening out with you, rather than at the bar down the street, or worse – sitting home hitting the refresh button on Facebook!

Cherry Chapstick at the Elbo Room in SF.

If you don’t like that show producers are hiring what you consider “inferior” performers, and you don’t want to perform in the same shows with them, don’t. Create your own show and hire only the performers you think are the best, and see what happens.

Because really, if you’re a top-notch, highly professional performer or producer, and you can’t compete with the “amateur hour” at your local dive bar, guess what? Quite frankly… you’re doing it wrong! Get out there and get some basic marketing skills and set yourself up as something different. Make it happen! No one’s going to do it for you.

And if you’re doing well, have a big following and successful shows, what are you so worried about?

The long and the short of it is that we’re all in the entertainment business. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to entertain everyone at any time or anyone all the time. So we just have to do the best we can, always strive to improve, and hopefully… live and let live. I believe that diversity and variety are strengths within our community and that the more we embrace them, the stronger our art will be.


Filed under Burlesque

How to Burlesque Q&A: What if your character and the song don’t match?

Have a question about performing burlesque that you’d like me to answer? Just ask! Here’s a question that came in recently, and I’ll be posting more Q&A articles soon. The videos that Mae is talking about here are the lessons from my free Burlesque Challenge™ video course.

Thank you so much for turning me on to your videos! I am enjoying them so much and they are really helping me. Since I am a professional belly dancer and teacher I am finding them extremely easy to follow.

Maybe you could give me some advice, however. I am going with the whole Mae West look. If you look through my profile pics I have one of Mae and people swear we could be twins. My husband even picked out my stage name Miss Mae Oui (since I also speak French. lol)

Now, this show that I’m doing in May is going to be 90’s music. After hearing a lot of the set list, I decided to shake things up a bit and do AC/DC’s Money Talks. Since our costumes do not have to reflect the music (thank goodness!!) I am playing this off as a late 30’s early 40’s socialite with a bit of a bad girl streak. You don’t think I’m over reaching on this do you? I love how Mae could play up any audience and that’s what I am going to try to do. I’m a bit of a flirt as it is anyway. Comes with the territory I guess. As to the song choice, I just could not see myself dancing to Celine Dion or Nirvana.

Any advice you could give me would be great. I apologize if I seem to be rambling but most of the ladies I am dancing with were either still in diapers or watching Barney in the 90’s and I was graduating high school.

Jan (or Mae Oui as I’m soon to be known!)

Hi Mae! I just LOVE your stage name! Mae West is most definitely one of my idols, and you DO have strikingly similar features. How lovely!

I’m so glad that you’re finding the videos helpful! I will be posting more lessons soon, so keep your eyes out for them!

Good question! I don’t think you’re over reaching at all with this act idea! As Mae West said, “It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it.” I have found that burlesque audiences the world over are usually quite willing to suspend disbelief and follow where you lead them, but you need to be very clear in what you present so that you don’t confuse them. Never expect your audience to connect the dots themselves or guess what you’re getting at!

With that in mind, the trick here will be to establish your character in such a way that the audience will understand that you are a 1930’s/1940’s socialite even though you are dancing to music that doesn’t convey that. Because you are playing a more complicated character by combining two archetypes, I think it would be best to clearly establish the basic character  (the retro socialite) to set the scene before you add the extra depth to the character by revealing additional details about her (she’s a money-hungry bad girl).

I would recommend starting out with music more appropriate to that time period for 20-30 seconds or so to establish the character, and then you can switch to the AC/DC song as something happens in your act where you reveal your socialite’s bad girl nature. It’s important that the song change happen at the same time that you reveal the change in your character.

I don’t know what you have in mind for your character to do, but here are just a few ideas off the top of my head for showing her bad girl side:
– Maybe she’s a pick pocket?
– Maybe she snubs men who don’t offer her gifts? For example: In her Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend act, Marilyn Monroe snubbed the gentlemen who offered their hearts and was only enchanted by the jewelry.

Also check out Cyd Charisse’s vixen character in Singing in the Rain. Watch how she is practically hypnotized by the jewels at the end of this clip (about 2:50).

– Alternately, your costuming pieces could either be stuffed with money or be made of / covered in money. You could wear lots of rhinestone jewelry and your character could be narcissistically distracted by her own sparkly self. You could pull plastic gold coins from your bra and toss them up in the air – just be careful that you don’t slip on them or put someone’s eye out!

To make sure that the audience really gets it, you should incorporate the Rule of Three while revealing your character’s money-hungry nature. For example, if she’s a pick pocket, maybe she gets away with it twice, and gets caught the third time. She’s unapologetic when caught, the song changes, and then she continues to reveal her obsession with money throughout the act.

If you do end up using a bit of a retro song at the beginning and then switch to the AC/DC song, I strongly recommend that you use an audio editing program to cut the intro song down and put both songs together into one track. The less you leave to chance, the better! Try to make it so that your sound tech just has to hit play and you’re set! Audacity is a good audio editor, is pretty easy to learn and start using right away, and it’s free!

I hope this helps!

PS: My dear readers, in case you missed the link, you can sign up for my free Burlesque Challenge video lessons here!

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Filed under Articles: Ask the Bombshell, Burlesque

This just made my month…

Spoiler alert: I’m about to get sappy here… Consider yourself warned!

I usually hang out and work hidden in the back area of the studio on Monday nights during Red Velvet’s Cardio Can-Can class, and tonight was no different. I’m generally answering emails or working on a project and don’t really pay attention to what’s going on in the class other than enjoying all of the giggling I can hear coming from the dance area.

Tonight was just like any other Monday night, except that as the group was leaving after class, someone called out, “Goodbye, Betty!” Then they all chimed in with their goodbyes, and one person called out, “Good night, I love you!”

Now, as some of you know, things have been pretty crazy for me lately. My husband, Randy, and I are splitting up, the lease is up very soon on the studio so I need to do some significant fundraising and find a new studio FAST, and I’ve been dealing with some health issues for a while now. This weekend was particularly rough, and I was feeling pretty down today.

During class, I just happened to be listening to a cd on marketing techniques, and I was trying to apply the concepts while thinking of my own students, because the  goal of marketing is to find more students like the wonderful students I already have. So it’s going on and on about demographics and prospects and qualified leads and conversions and response rates and all sorts of clinical ideas like that.

But then I hear that sweet voice calling out from the doorway, very casually, “Good night, I love you!” and I thought to myself: Wow, how lucky am I? How many business people get to have such meaningful relationships with the people they work with? I wouldn’t trade this for the world!

And suddenly everything felt so much better. It’ll all be okay. Because I really do have an amazing life, and I am surrounded by the loveliest, kindest and most brilliant ladies (and some men) a girl could ever hope to know.

So good night. And I love you, too.


Filed under Personal

I’ve been a bad girl! Do I need a spanking?

I have been a bad, bad blogger.

Some of the Burlesqueteers are really great bloggers. They post very interesting and personal articles regularly, and every time I read one of them, I think to myself, “I need to blog again.” But then I don’t.

I told myself that I didn’t blog because I just didn’t have the time, but that just wasn’t true. I mean, if I had time for Angry Birds (which I did) and farting around on Facebook (which I also did) and for reading a slew of historical and paranormal romance novels (yup, that too!), then I definitely had enough time for blogging. I just didn’t do it.

I recently realized the real reason I haven’t been blogging. Well, there are a couple reasons actually, but they both boil down to one reason in the end:

I’ve been self-editing my blogging before ever setting my fingers to the keyboard, and it killed my interest in writing, let alone my courage to hit that “publish” button.

I wrote a little bit about my first reason for self editing here. I let the haters intimidate me. I no longer felt comfortable putting myself out there because I knew that a certain number of people don’t like me, don’t like what I do, and actively, vocally want to “take me down.” So I pulled into my little shell, and I stopped putting myself out there. And I let the haters win just a little bit.Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

Well, fuck that! Yes, I swore. Swearing is powerful when used to show strong emotion, so here I go again: FUCK that!

Since I haven’t been blogging, you probably don’t know about all of the business training I’ve been doing over the last few years. Not just reading books. I’ve been going to seminars, taking online courses, listening to audio training, watching DVDs. It has really been an obsession, or perhaps a compulsion. I’m not sure which. Well, I was amazed when almost every single business mentor I’ve been training with addresses this issue of haters. They don’t generally call them “haters.” Bestselling author, David Bach calls them dream stealers. Winston Churchill said, “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something in your life.” It seems to be a universal experience for everyone who has ever had the audacity to actually get out there and do something. So, I’m not going to worry about it any more. Let the haters hate, I’ll be here having fun in my Burlesqueteer Bubble of Awesomeness (more on that later).

The second reason I’ve been self-editing and so not writing, is that I had it in my head that I should only write advice about burlesque on this blog. Or announce upcoming shows or whatnot. But since I felt I had to write about burlesque, of course it was the last thing in the world I was interested in writing about. And so I wrote nothing.

Well, eff that, too! This is my blog, so I’m going to write about whatever I am inspired to write about. This might be health, self esteem, fashion, lifestyle… heck, it might even be about burlesque! It will be about what’s going on in my life and my mind as we go along. If it’s TMI or doesn’t interest you, don’t read it. If you like it, great! But I’m not going to worry about it before I write it all out and hit “publish.” I might not even worry about it afterwards.

I already have a bunch of subjects I’m excited to write about, so stay tuned for these upcoming posts (and subscribe to this blog if you want to be notified when they’re published!!!):

– “In search of the Next Frontier of Naked”
– “The Bombshell’s Guide to Making Sh*t Happen”
– “How to create YOUR Happy Bubble of Awesomeness”
– “Embarrassment Therapy”

You can also check out some of the Burlesqueteers’ blogs here:

“Burlesque Mama” by Violet Streak
“Corner Blog” by Yve Jobs
Red Velvet’s blog
Candy Pie’s blog

(Are you a blogging Burlesqueteer and I didn’t list you here? Leave your URL in the comments so I know about your blog!)


Filed under Personal

Personal catharsis through burlesque performance

Andi Stardust by Johnny CrashEvery day, more and more women are experiencing the transformational power of burlesque performance, even beyond helping build confidence and heal body image issues. Some of my students have performed burlesque to work through serious trauma from sexual assault, abusive relationships, eating disorders, and even suicidal tendencies. I have personally worked out a large number of my own demons on stage, to the somewhat oblivious delight of many audiences.

Read this beautifully naked and eloquent account of Andi Stardust’s personal catharsis through burlesque performance following a life-threatening illness.


Filed under Body Image, Burlesque

Make your own feather fans!

A few weeks ago, one of my students, Dangerous Delilah, wrote a great blog post detailing an easy and affordable way to make your own burlesque feather fans! I saw these fans in action on Saturday night as we performed together, and I thought I would share her fan making article here!

Happy crafting!


Filed under Articles: For the DIY Diva, Burlesque