Comments on: More on body love/hate

By: PeachiiPanda

PeachiiPanda — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 03:22:41 +0000

I found you via Violet Blue’s site, and I love your writing. I couldn’t agree more about body image, just because somone is heavy doesn’t mean they’re unhealthy, and yet so many people automatically link fatness with a bag of chips.

By: elizabeth

elizabeth — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 15:53:31 +0000

True, we should not diet for the sake fulfilling the goal of body image alone, but we should keep
our weight within reasonable ranges for our health. Extreme obesity and anorexia are both very dangerous and unhealthy. I exercise to keep myself healthy so I do not wind up with type II diabetes like my mother whose cause is mostly being far too overweight (she used to be a 4x). Seeing how a ministroke and diabetes have affected her health made me want to get back down to a healtheir range
myself. But even though I am classified as borderline obese, I consider myself to be in good health and have a good image about myself, but it took years to reach this point, a matter of self realization that can’t be bought with a bottle of diet pills. And you want to talk about confidence? Go see some belly dancers dance sometime. Zoftig, yes still more confidence about their body than any hip 20-something I’ve ever seen! It’s all inside of you.

By: Lucky

Lucky — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 14:43:12 +0000

Thank you for posting this. As a student in one of your classes, I find it challenging to let go still but I’m learning. It takes a while to de-program oneself from what power the past or society holds on us. I’m lucky to have a teacher such as yourself who is open, honest, just as vulnerable and encouraging. xoxo

By: Daevo

Daevo — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 04:41:40 +0000

Very apropo rant. Having raised 4 daughters, now in their 20s, I find I was only marginally successful in giving them healthy body images of themselves; society’s constant barrage of pictures of what constitutes a “perfect” woman’s body was/is stronger than all the love and support that I, as a father, could give them. The excruciating glamour magazine genre, the arbitrary fashion tv shows on what to wear and what not to wear, the fierce push to conform in high school…

I don’t know, does all that cultural image consciousness feed into or from something uniquely female? At the risk of stepping into hot lava here, let me ask a thoughtful question: do you think women a thousand or ten thousand years ago were wrestling with the appearance pictures of their day since on a very basic procreative level it is a woman’s appearance that attracts a mate? I’m not saying that we are in exactly the same place today but since it seems innately human to want love, intimacy, and a mate, and appearance is still the first thing we notice about someone, is this self-critical body/face examination hard wired in women? In flipping through Glamour and other similar magazines, I find the majority of writers and staff are women ostensibly telling their readers how to act and appear desirable to others.

Who is pushing this looksism?

As a man, I will admit a fascination.. no, that’s too strong a word, more an enjoyment in looking at a sample of my type of archetypal woman. Kind of like how I enjoy a beautiful painting or sculpture, though what I actually WANT can be very different and only passingly involves appearance. If I could do a Vulcan Mind Meld with the female gender and install one thing, it would be that the the most attractive, sexiest, desirable thing I know is a woman comfortable in her own skin.

Oh, to scoop self loathing right out of the female psyche.

Now male self loathing….. that’s more a sense of failure and inadequacy, and fodder for another place. Oh, and by the way, Betty, you rock.

By: Serendipity

Serendipity — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 14:39:59 +0000

A good post. The only thing lacking is in Kate’s points where she says that diets don’t work. That is true enough, but the general implication is that losing weight is impossible. Trying to claim this falsehood undermines her whole argument.

Diets are not the only way of losing weight. A general lifestyle change makes losing weight fairly simple. Making that lifestyle change may, of course, not be simple at all

“You can’t hate people for their own good.” Is definitely a good sentiment.

By: alzo

alzo — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 06:35:37 +0000

I got here via tinynibbles, too. Thanks for continuing the dialog and for the encouragement.

By: Magnetic Crow

Magnetic Crow — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 02:47:53 +0000

I love reading articles by lovely women entirely comfortable with their own bodies and public body images. It’s really been a help in repairing my own body image, and becoming just a tad less gender dysphoric.

I also found you through Violet Blue, who’s posted gorgeous photos of you and beautiful article snips.

By: AmyTree

AmyTree — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 12:15:08 +0000

I have seen that quote attributed to Marilyn Wann, but I don’t know if she got it somewhere else…

I love your writing! Found you via Violet Blue’s page – keep up the fabulousness! xx

By: Janet

Janet — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:25:20 +0000

Diet is an important————–

Response from Bombshell Betty: Diet is an important… what? No one is saying that diet is not important to your health. Read point #2.